Entry 7: When Hannah Prayed, God Answered.

Hello, and welcome to another blog entry! I want to say that I am so incredibly grateful for all of you who have read my entries, it means so much to me and encourages me to keep writing. This blog started off as a way to raise support for my upcoming mission trips, and while that still remains the primary purpose, I have also had the wonderful opportunity to document the lessons that God has taught me these past few months, and to look back on the journey that has gotten me to today. I have already learned so much in such a short amount of time, and I can’t wait for the season that lies just around the corner.

Today, similar to my last post, I’m going to be diving into another Old Testament passage that really impacted me. This one comes from the book of 1 Samuel. This passage sets up the whole rest of the book but is often forgotten because of it’s simple nature. It’s a story about a woman named Hannah, and it begins in 1 Samuel 1:1,

“There was a certain man whose name was Elkanah.  He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.

 Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh. Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her.  This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.  Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Right from the beginning, Hannah’s story hit my heart. Hannah had a deep, intense desire for children, but as the passage says, “The LORD had closed her womb”. She wanted something good, and beautiful, but for reasons she couldn’t understand, the LORD would not let her have it. Not only that, but she had to live with someone, who not only had what she couldn’t (and had it abundantly) but TAUNTED her in her pain, and mocked her for her lack of children. Year after year, Hannah went to the LORD to worship, but she had to do this, knowing that God hadn’t give to her the one desire of her heart.

Hannah’s predicament stood out to me, because I believe that we all long for something, it just looks different from person to person. Maybe you’re like Hannah and really want children. Or maybe you want something physical, like a bigger house or better clothes. Maybe you’re longing to be loved by somebody, whether by a friend or a partner. Maybe you long to be somewhere where you’re not, or to be a part of something you’re not. Maybe you long to look like someone else, to have their hair, their body, their smile. Maybe you long to have faith like somebody else, to have the relationship with God that they have. No matter what it is, we all deeply long for something, and Hannah’s story is but a representation of this depth wanting in all of our hearts. And as it was for Hannah, that desire can seem overwhelming to us. Countless times I have wondered, “How do I go on living without having this?”, begging God seemingly endlessly to take the pain away and fulfill my deep wanting. What do we do with that feeling? How do we have faith even in the absence of that particular fulfillment? Well, if you keep reading, Hannah shows us exactly what we need to do.

 “Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

I can honestly say, that as I read this passage, I felt my heart shift. It shifted from a place of pity to one of awe. Hannah was not someone to feel sorry for. She is an example. Hannah was not someone who the LORD forgot. But someone he loves. Why did my heart shift in this way? And why do I believe that Hannah’s story is so important? Because in her deepest anguish and grief, and the moment when she was probably the most angry at God, she went to him, in prayer. The bible doesn’t explicitly say it, but I’m willing to bet that Hannah was incredibly angry at the LORD in that moment. I don’t know why she wouldn’t be. Every year, she sacrificed to the LORD and worshipped him, but every year, she was reminded of what he had not given her. She was taunted, and belittled, to the point where she was too depressed to eat. And most of all, she knew that God was the only reason why she hadn’t been given children in that moment. And if Hannah had let her anger overtake her, she would certainly be allowing sin to enter her heart. But despite whatever Hannah may be have been feeling, she went to God, and she brought her pain before him. In that act alone, Hannah claimed victory. Because when Hannah brought her anguish and her anger and her longing to God, the grasp that sin had on her was released. She did not blame God. She trusted Him, because she knew that He alone was her comfort.

I think that so often we believe that God only wants the best of us. He doesn’t want our anger. He doesn’t want our grief. He doesn’t want our ugly. But is it the healthy who need a doctor or the sick? When God tells us to give ourselves to Him, he doesn’t just mean the most faithful, most grateful, most joyful parts of you. He wants everything that you are, and yes, that includes every sin, every desire, and every emotion. Bring it all before Him because, as Hannah teaches us, God alone is our comfort, and God alone is our fulfillment.

When you go to God, what are you bringing with you? Are you bringing your grief, your anger, your confusion? When you talk to God, do you tell Him the truth? Hannah’s story shows us, that God does not want you to try to hide your heart from Him. He already knows your heart. So bring it all before Him. And here’s why. 1 Samuel 1:18 says, “Then she went her way and her face was no longer downcast.” In that moment, God did not grant Hannah’s desire. But in that moment, God did something so much greater. He comforted and fulfilled Hannah in a way that only He could, and God offers this same healing when we come to Him in our own want.

Hannah’s story does not end there. 1 Samuel 1:19 says that “the LORD remembered her”, and Hannah gave birth to a son, to whom she gave the name Samuel. God does not always grant our desires. He has not yet fulfilled mine. But 1 John 5:14-15 says, “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” And even more so, when we hold our want out with open hands, when we lay it down at his feet, we discover that his plan for us is often even greater than anything we could ever imagine to desire. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I encourage you to read the rest of 1 Samuel because as Hannah gives her only son to God, we see the beauty of true faith and surrender. God hears her, he remembers her, and he blesses her with the desire of her heart. But Hannah knows that this blessing, though given to her, still belongs to God, and it is by pure faith that she gives her son back to Him. She receives this blessing with open hands, and they remain open as she gives this blessing back to God, having faith in His plan. It is by this Hannah’s faith that Samuel went on to become one of the greatest prophets Israel had ever known, and it was by this faith, that God would bless Hannah with many more children.

So today, right now if you can, with whatever may be on your heart, lay it down before God. Pray to Him, talk to Him, because he HEARS you, and He loves to bless you. You need only ask. If God doesn’t answer your prayer, do not let yourself be overcome by doubt, because He has already prepared for you blessings you can’t even imagine. And if He does answer your prayer, give it right back to Him. You’d be amazed at what He can do.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for a particularly special post coming up!